Mid-Knight Rider

This ain't no Hasselhoff, more like some ole honky from Arkansas; but we figured it was worthy of a little recognition, nonetheless. What do you say honkies, worth sharing with the Blanco Honky Nation? Midnight Rider; "Not goin catch me no, not goin to catch the midnight ride-er..." (Allman Brothers Band). Think again big mamma rainbow, think again...

Baby Sitting with Chuck's Norris

On a rcent trip to Apalachicola, this Blanco Honky Ambassador took some time out of his day to do a little baby sitting. Over the oyster shells and through the spartina grass he travelled, watching his step very carefully. "If it wasn't for Chuck's Norris" (a redfish fly developed specifically for redfishing in mud bottomed areas), I don't think I ever would have found them. "Once they saw Chuck, the started coming in one after another like good little children." Well played Mr. Ambassador, we salute you for educating these fine young lads. For they surely represent our future fishery in the bay.

Why don't we get drunk and screw?

You + Guide Season < Swamp Crotch

Like all fly fishing publications or blogs, we should probably do a gear review. Unlike many fishing publications, we’re gonna cut through the bull shit, all the fluff, all the latest and greatest hooplah and get to back to the basics; blanco honky style. So here you have it honkies, Blanco’s first bang-up review, and what do you know? You’ll be a better person for reading this.

It’s that time of year again: guide season. So before all you honkies head up to AK, or out west, or over to the land of “one-legged vodka-sucking hors named Natasha”, before you inflate your raft, renew that CPR certification; let’s get back to the basics.

Resident guides; you’re smarter than this, so just look at the pictures and get back to the bench. This review is for all you seasonal guides, so listen up, because it’s the best advice you’re ever gonna get. No matter how many flies you tied this year, no matter how much of new bling you’re planning to bring, “no matter what, take care of your butt”. Because a little swamp butt, river ass, or wader-vader will creep up on your back side and turn your outlook on life from blurry to out-right putrid. And that’s no way to be blanco.

Take this honky’s word for it. If you’re out in the bush and the only thing on fire is your crotch, life can be pretty grim. So do yourself the favor, take a few extra pre-cautions to prepare yourself to deal with the worst of situations in the best of fashions, take our word for it, or don’t. Either way, you’ll decide.

After some extensive field research, and some painful memories, Blanco Honky has formulated a list of 5 products to protect your products, your principle areas, the bits and pieces, the nether-regions of your anatomy:

1. Gold Bond- We love this stuff. Good for the feet, good for the crotch, good for life. Powder, cream, spray; all works well, just find what works best for you.
2. Anti- Monkey Butt: This product really flourishes when times get really tough. Have you ever seen a baboon’s ass? Well this shit was made to keep that from happening to you!


3. DZ nuts: If you cherish yours, this is the shizzy. If yours’ get a little clammy, say stuck to your leg, or say presenting themselves in a much more vivid color scheme than before, this is the ticket, to stick-it-to; the problem. What’s the problem? If the answer is these nuts, than DZ nuts is you’re source for salvation.

4. Baby Powder: Yes, this is remedial. But if your junx, is all jammed up, this helps ease the pain. It’s used to cure diaper rashes; it’ll help with your “I’ve been out in the bush without a shower in two months” rash as well. Probably won’t help with that, “I knew I shouldn’t have slept with that Eskimo,” rash though…. Better go into Dillingham to get that one checked out.

5. Random Chemicals in your guide bag. DEET. What? Might as well include WD-40 too. If you’ve reached this stage in the swampiness, we’re assuming you’re pretty desperate. Having spent many-a-day in the bush, we know what you’ll be going through. So take our word for it, if you’re planning on using this shit, and it doesn’t fix it (which it probably won’t), you might as well cut your losses (via amputation, suicide, or extreme intoxication), because your about to be written-off as a “loss” for the rest of the season. In other words, you’re fucked.

If you’ve gone through all of the top 4 remedies with no avail, hopefully the DEET or WD-40 will numb the areas enough to make it through the night. Hopefully the guys back at the lodge will take pitty on you and pick up some serious medicated stuff on their next run to town. Hopefully you’ll survive the rest of the season… But we’re not gonna lie to you. We respect you too much to do that.

The truth is, if you’ve let it go on this long, you’re a dirty bastard in a shitty situation, and it doesn’t look good. If your level of swamp-crotch has reached the point where it hurts to walk, where you can’t even sit down. If your butt looks like it could be used on a Proactive commercial for one of the “before” pictures If you find yourself dropping trow immediately after the beaver departs for the day only to submerge your lower half in the cool river; you’re fucked dude. There’s really no other way to put it. There’s nothing else to say, nothing else to do, except pack your bags and prepare yourself for a bumpy-beaver-ride home.

So do the smart thing. Do that thing that good guides do, be prepared. After all, if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you be expected to take care of your clients? It’s like the flight attendant says, “Place your oxygen mask on first, and then assist those in need of assistance”. Look out for number one, always clean after number two, and we’ll keep thinking about more random pieces of advice to offer all of you.

Monthly Moment in Waders

Thinking outside the (fly)box, this Blanco Ambassador found another use for the pouch on his Simms G3 Guide Waders; beer holster. You've got a beatiful face, I love your mind, I want to hear your ideas, tell me about your dreams... How about you honkies?

5 Narley Stonefly Patterns

It's stone fly season again. So whether you've been slaying 'em on skwala's on the Clark Fork, or are getting geared up for your annual pilgrimage to the Black Canyon; check out some of these creative patterns from Montana Fly Company before you hit the water:

1) Floater in the Pool- What can we say? We're huge caddyshack fans.

2) Dog Puke- Mmm... we're getting hungry. This melds many of our favorite qualities into one pile of feathers and thread.

3) Uranus- Where did that fly come from?

4) Cat Vomit- Not quite as substantial a portion as the dog puke, but still a tasty morsel for any ole trout.

5). Knobbler- Rounding out the top five comes the Knobbler. Inevitibly named for famed folk singer/rocker Rocking Johnny Knobbler (pictured above). Everytime I look at my Rocking Johnny poster I get inspired. Notice the use of black and white both Johnny and the fly's ensembles'.

Squawfish: A Blanco Moment

While the other guys were fishing skwala's for those trash fish rainbows, Blanco tied on a prince nymph and came up with this with the special of the day: Squawfish. Honko Deluxe!

Honky Slays the P

Congrats to Blanco Honky Ambassador, Anne Johansen, on her first Belize Permit on the fly. Yellow Dog is obviously doing their thing, hit them up, and get your first p-card while you're at it. Ms. Anne would be happy to hook you up with some advice for planning your next permit trip.

Big Sky Beer in Cans: Mmmmm…Big Sky Beer in Cans.

No matter how you take your daily supplement of suds: Draft, Bottles or Cans; Big Sky Brewing Co. is doing its part to get you the juice the way you like it. So step up, pop a top, crack a can, or fill your glass, and remember; in the word of oldy Moldy: Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”

Saltwater Rigging: Fly Shop Guy's Five Step Process

Go ahead and give your fly shop guy shit the next time you see him. Sure you’re a big shot. You’ve got the bling, and it shows. Thus as Murphy’s Law proves itself true once again, you’ll be on the bow of the boat next week while fly shop guy is sitting on his ass in the shop back in the real world. You’ll be flailing away at that bonefish (which you can’t see) 30 feet off the bow with the best rod and reel money can buy; but you just can’t seem to deliver the fly to the fish. What’s wrong with that stupid rod? You. But that’s beside the point.

The point is, fly shop guy is just like that waiter in the restaurant, he may not make the food, but he can sure as hell spit in it if you’re an asshole. So next time, before you’re rude to the fly shop guy. Before you ignore fly shop guy’s greeting as you walk through the door and demand to see your old pal; the owner, (who believe me, definitely doesn’t want to see you), think about who ties your knots.
Think about that knot from the backing to the reel, the backing to the line, the knot that creates the butt section, the knot that keeps your leader attached. Think about how many knots that is, about how many steps go into tying each knot. Think about how much room for error there is. Now think about how many times you’ve been less than courteous to your fly shop guy. Think about him, thinking, I'm gonna get you sucka!

Now do you really want to be thinking about that when you’ve hooked the first permit of your life, or the biggest tarpon? If you’re a serious fisherman or a decent guy, you see my point. If you’re just that much of an ass, or just don’t care, then touché. Thinking that the majority of you that have gotten this far with me, I’ll assume you’re of the former, so I’ll offer this small piece of advice: Think about how you treat your fly shop guy before you walk through the door of the fly shop, and think about it while you’re in there. It sure would be a shame if a knot were to fail. It sure would be a shame… wouldn’t it?

So buck up with more than your wallet. Show the man with no life-plan a little respect. Show him that, and you’ll get a whole lot more than you paid for. You’ll get that guarantee. The guarantee that fly shop guy will make sure that your knots test out, and are tied right. With the better part of a decade running fly shops, take fly shop guy’s word for it, in fly fishing, sweat the small stuff. Know your fly shop guy(s) and trust in their ability to rig-you-up, right.
Though there is no single “right way” to rig-up; there are some preferred methods and a general consensus on the proper way to do certain things. This is fly shop guy’s 6 step system, as taught to him from various authorities and as reitterated by none other than Stu Apte . It is tournament-tested, and fly shop guy approved; having landed countless bonefish, tarpon, permit, snook, billfish, etc., and made for some very happy clients along the way. Most importantly, it’s kept him from getting his ass kicked.

Fly Shop Guy’s 5 Steps to Saltwater Rigging

(sweet lady fish honky, who calls a lady trash anyhow?)

1) Albright knot to secure backing to reel

2) A bimini loop in backing (make loop big enough for reel to pass through)

3) A loop in the rear end of the fly line (Many fly lines come with a welded loop in the rear of the fly line; however, one may be put in manually by either a whip finish or the use of three to four opposing nail knots)
4) Loop-to-loop connection from Bimini loop to Fly Line

5) Albright knot or improved nail knot into fly line with 60lb test butt section material

Can Your Mom Do This?

Blanco's can. Way to go Mamma Fett (pictured stroking a sweet steelie). Proud parent of Blanco Honky Ambassador (alsopictured) and Steelhead Sweetheart. We hope all you mamma's out there have a great day! Mamma's don't let your babies grow up to Honkies!

Girls Gone Grabblin

New Zealand Head Shots

Blanco Honky Ambassador, Dawson Dunning, shows off a couple more spectacular shots...

One Stop Shop

With compliments from Blanco Honky Ambassador, Pete.  What else does a honky need?

Montana Happy Hour

This one comes to us from Blanco Honky Ambassador Mike Dawkins (not pictured). Nothing like a stringer full of whities to show off for the camera. Looks like these honkies captured a little home video to boot. Love to see some of that footage!