Besting the Befus!

“Brad Befus has been flyfishing and fly tying for 29 years. He is an accomplished freshwater and saltwater angler who holds several I.G.F.A. flyrod world records and has fished many destinations worldwide.”
Or so says his website. Anyhow, we decided to assemble an elite unit of Blanco Honky Ambassadors to put Befus to the test*. We sent two Blanco Honky Ambassadors (pictured together at the bottom of the page) out with an assortment of Befus patterns, a case of beer and the Befus book “Carp on the Fly”. We then sent out a Rogue Blanco Honky Ambassador to the same fishery on the same day with nothing more than a case of beer and some beef jerky. We thought the photos would speak for themselves, but the contest proved to ba a down to the wire type event. At the weigh in the Befus boys appeared to be the winners. But as in any fierce competition there was controversy. The Befus boys were alleged to have used illegal substances and there were also questions regarding their actual ages. Though the Befus boys tragically proved to be grown men, they tested positive for beef jerky, and were therefore disqualified. Thus just as we suspected, the true winner stands alone, smiling in the photo (pictured at the top of the page), and it ain’t Befus.


*Brad Befus has no knowledge, nor was aware, of this test. Though even if he was, it is an undeniable truth that the beef jerky still would have beat the Befus. The only exception being if he changed the spelling of his name from B-E-F-U-S to B-E-E-F-U-S, and the flavor of his flies from nothing to beef jerky, preferably spicy tobasco.

Dumping with Waders

Part of Blanco Honky’s mission statement is to leave the world a better place. We feel that part of that is helping people solve problems, especially if its one of our own. So when a Blanco Honky Ambassador from Montana approached us with a problem, we set out to solve it. The problem at hand: What’s the best way to take a dump with waders? Thus, we assembled our team of Ambassadors, loaded them full of brains and eggs, hot sauce, good beer, and nicotine, and sent them out into the field for a fun filled day of outdoor activity and intestinal liquidity. After some intense sessions this is what they came back with: Top ten best ways to take a dump with waders.

1. The Thinker. Take a dump before you put your waders on. Let’s face it. Good days on the water start by planning ahead.
2. The Strategist. Take a dump after you take your waders off. The patience of a fisherman is applicable to lots of things in life, dumping-it-out being one of them.
3. About face. Point your ass down stream. Need we say more? Trust us, you’ll want your brown trout to swim down stream far away from you, preferably avoiding all eddies.
4. Knuckles. Waders to ankles, ass over the gunwale of the boat. The white knuckles come from the strain of holding onto the boat. Though this is not recommended for those angling from rafts, this is a tried and true method for those of us drift boat anglers.
5. Nature’s Recliner. Waders to knees, shoulder straps tucked in waders, hold on to tree and lean back. According to one of our ambassadors from Arkansas, this is the least messy way to take care of business.
6. Crouching Liger. Waders to ankles, shoulder straps tucked in waders, squat like a Liger. On a gravel bar with no bushes or trees to hide behind? This is the one for you. In order to sell the story: walk away from your buddies, occasionally crouching down as if to look at something. This can often be achieved at waters edge. Once far enough away crouch facing your buddies, if they look in your direction, simply wave.
7. Baked Alaska. This one comes from one our Alaskan ambassadors (pictured at the top of the page) and you’ll need a jet boat for this. Look for a straight run of the river, have your clients face forward for safety, get the boat on step, lower your waders below your knees, hang your rear over the stern, bombs away!
8. Customer Appreciation Day. This deed is done in your local fly shop. If you’re wearing your waders in there; you’d better be buying something like wading boots, going on a guide trip or otherwise you’re an employee. Ask if they have a pisser, and deliver a devastating blow. This will ensure that if the shop staff doesn’t remember your name, they’ll undoubtedly remember your flavor. If you’re an employee, you’ll likely have to clean it up, so proceed at your own risk. 9. Corn-hole-io. The guy just low-holed you completely. What he doesn’t know is that you’ve just eaten corn on the cob during shore lunch. Read the water, get as close as possible without being terribly obvious, and unleash the fury. With a well calculated drift you may smile. Whether the guy ever figures it out or not, he’s just been biologically bombed.
10. Jorts. If you ever find yourself without waders and wearing jean shorts instead, follow this prescription: Take your jean shorts off, squat, drop it like it’s hot, rip the pockets out of your shorts, wipe your ass with the pieces of fabric formerly known as pockets, and keep on rockin brother!

Also remember, whichever way you decide to do your deed and wherever you are when the situation presents itself: take a dump as far away from poison ivy and/or oak as possible. Seriously, trust us on this one.

Contagious Colloquialism

Blanco Honky is infecting people worldwide with contagious colloquialism. Starting a dialogue with individuals from around the world is what it’s all about. It doesn’t matter if you don’t speak the language. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand what you’re saying to each other. Smile, nod, laugh a little and have a cerveza. The rest will take care of itself… or it won’t. Either way, something’s going to happen.

With this mantra in mind, we here at Blanco Honky encourage our friends to continue spreading the message of love for all God’s creatures throughout our travels. Embracing local cultures and sharing our own lets us leave the world a little better than we found it. Sending ambassadors across the globe in search of fine food, large fish, beautiful women and good spirits is a passion of ours. Whether in a local cantina, the dark alley behind it, or out on the water, the search continues and so do our adventures.

Here is a photo (pictured above) of a Blanco Honky Ambassador on one of our recent exploratory expeditions down to Chile. We think this pretty much sums up what we’re all about.